dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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