and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
