So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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