a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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