I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
