he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
