i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
