UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
