Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
