Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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