I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My first STD was from a foam party
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
