i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
