so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize