And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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