they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
