You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
