i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
