Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Randomize
