It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That's intense
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
