Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
