doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
