it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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