im having a threesome with these popsicles
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
