I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
