im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
