would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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