id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize