You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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