If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
