nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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