he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
