He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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