found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
