u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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