You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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