hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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