No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
