I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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