I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
