ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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