please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
