just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
