im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
