I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
