Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
