I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
