I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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