its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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