He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
