Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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