i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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