I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
