She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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