Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
