He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You ate ashes out of my bong
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
