my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
