question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
