Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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(813): View more from Florida

well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked

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(519): View more from Ontario

i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..

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(207): View more from Maine

Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?

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(512): View more from Texas

He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!

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(813): View more from Florida

If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.

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