okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
